Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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