I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize