It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
