I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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