My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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