I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
