At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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