This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
