you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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