New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am mentally ready for anal.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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