do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
