I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
