moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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