I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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