Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
