with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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