In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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