Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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