So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
