I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
