bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
