arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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