Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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