I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
