I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
