he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
