i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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