After last night, I could never be a politician.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize