You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
