is your mom at the bar?
My nipple is on Facebook.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
