fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
