it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
