Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
me + whiskey = a bad person
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize