I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
