apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
