Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
