Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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