did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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