i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We named our party play list daddy issues
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
