Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
