the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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