Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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