Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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