Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
