Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize