In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
