It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
