So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize