he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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