I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
