I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
