So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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