As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
