K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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