TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
