After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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