His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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