"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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