how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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