She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
