Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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