Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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