If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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