you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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