Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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