i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
