did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
