she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
